Callie's POV
"Look. If you need to take some time off or whatever I'm sure the Chief would understand Callie..."
I shook my head and grabbed the clipboard next to me. "No. What I need to do is work. Drown myself in so much work that I forget how much my life sucks right now. So please just let me do that please, okay?"
She nodded and stepped back. "Okay. I'm just saying."
Apart of me knew how right she was. But this was my job. This was who I was and this is the one place that I was happy and felt like I fit in. I was not going to let Izzie take that from me too. I wasn't going to let this ruin my career. I wasn't going to be that girl. I wasn't going to be weak.
Not in front of them anyway.
Normally I would have though that me telling everyone about George and Izzie the way I did was harsh. It wasn't something that I would usually do. But I didn't really care.
I made my rounds and worked on paperwork for most of the morning. As soon as I stepped outside of the room I ran straight into George. He just stared at me like a deer in headlights and he exhaled a slow breath.
"Look. Izzie told me about what happened last night and Callie you have to understand that I'm really sorry. And I'm sorry that this happened Callie. I didn't mean to hurt you I really didn't. It just kind of happened."
I stared at him in desbelief. Was that supposed to be an apology? I wasn't sure what it was supposed to be but it was strange and I hated him for it.
I glared at him and didn't care that my voice was harsh. "You're sorry? You promised me George. Everytime I told you that Izzie had a thing for you, you denied it. Over and Over again you lied to me. If you didn't want to marry why did you propose to me? Was it because it was conveniant? Because you know it's what your dad would have wanted? Because you were lonely George?"
I realized that most of the people on the floor's eyes were on us.
"Well guess what? I'm lonelier right now than I have ever been. Because I am in love with someone who is in love with someone who doesn't love me back. Do you know what that feels like? No. You don't. Because Izzie loves you back. You have each other. Congratulations. But don't you dare stand there and tell me you're sorry when you're not. You've lied to me too much. Don't make it worse."
I turned on my heel and walked as quickly as I could swipping at the tears that were falling down my face. I collapsed as soon as I got into the on call room.
I rested my head against the door and crumpled up into a ball.
I heard the knob turn and I moved out of the way quickly trying to wipe the tears away from my face. It was Sloan. Great.
The last person who I wanted to see me like this. I had burdened him enough.
He looked at me. "Are you okay?"
I smiled. "Yes...No. I don't know. I will be."
He laughed and crossed his arms over his chest. 'Well. The last time I remember whenever I woman say's shes okay and she's crying she's lieing."
I laughed. "Aren't you usually the reason for the tears?"
He feigned offense and hit his chest. "That hurt."
"Oh yeah? I heard the nurses are pretty fond of you right now, by the way."
He groaned. "You know about that?"
I nodded. "Everyone knows about that. Nurses Agaisnt Mark Sloan? That was the highlight of my morning so far."
He laughed. "I'm not the most romantic guy in the world. Sue me."
There was a minute where neither one of us said anything and he looked at me.
"Are you really okay? Because you don't look okay."
I shook my head. "I'll be fine it's just.." I looked down at my hands.
"George?" He asked. I nodded slowly.
I told him about the scene earlier and he actually acted like he was listening to what I was saying to him.
"It was good for you, to stand up for yourself."
I smiled. "Yeah. And now I'm absolutely starving." I said with a laugh.
He smiled. "You can sit with me and Derek if you want to."
I laughed and pretended to swoon. "Mcdreamy and Mcsteamy? What will a girl do with herself?"
He rolled his eyes. "Are you coming or not? The offers only on the table for today."
I bit my lip. It wasn't like we were going out to dinner or anything. He was just asking me to have lunch. And it was in the hospital so it's not like it counted for anything. Plus I did need someone that I could sit with.
It was beyond me why Mark was caring so much but I figured it was probably better not to think of it. Because right now the last thing I needed was a relationship with him. George and I weren't even divorced really. We were just, seperated. But I guess the vows had went to hell when he broke that. So why couldn't I?
Because I still loved him.
But where was that going to get me? Nowhere. Mark was a friend. A friend who cared enough to invite me to lunch. Either because he cared or because the nurses would hit him with thier trays if he came within fifty feet of them. Either way it would be stupid of me to pass it up.
"Yeah. I'll come."
We walked out together and down to the cafeteria. We found Derek and sat at a table in the middle of everything.
Lunch was nice. It was refreshing to be around people who made me laugh.
"Meredith brought her mother's ashes to work today."
Mark and I looked up at him.
Mark laughed. "What? Her ashes?"
Derek nodded slowly. "Yeah. She said it was haunting her to have them in her closet and she had to put her mommy dear to rest. Is that wierd?"
Mark nodded. "Even for Meredith that's wierd."
I shrugged. "I don't know. She's trying to come to peace with things she can't change. She just has a different way of doing it is all."
Derek looked at Mark. "See? She's growing. She is trying to grow up. That's good right?"
Mark smiled. "Slowly. She is slowly trying to grow up Derek. There is a difference."
My pager went off and threw my things away. "That's me. I have to go. I'll see you guys later."
I made my way through the crowds of people.
The rest of the day went by suprisingly fast and I kept my mind on my work and nothing else.
When I was finishing things up Cristina bumped into me. "Hey Callie. Can I talk to you?"
I nodded.
"Well. Burke's apartment...my apartment is really empty right now and it's strange. It's terrible actually. Anyway, I know that you're kind of out of a place to live in a way so I wanted to know if you wanted to come and stay with me?"
I looked at her. "Really? You're sure?"
She nodded and sighed. "Yeah. I mean were kind of friends right? We get along?"
I laughed. "Yeah. Were kind of friends."
She nodded again. "Exactly. And Between you and I the idea of Tinkerbell and Bambie makes me want to vomit. So I'm on your side."
I raised an eyebrow at her. "Side? It isn't like a boxing match or something Cristina."
She shrugged. "I know. I'm just saying. When it comes down to it I'm on your side. So what do you think?"
I sighed. "If you're sure that it's alright. It would really help me out. I just have to get some of my stuff from Sloan's. I stayed there last night."
Cristina looked at me. "Sloans? Really?"
I laughed. "Nothing happened. He just let me stay there."
She shrugged and wrote down her adress and I smiled at her. "Great. I'll be over there in a little while."
I made my way to Mark's and he wasn't there yet by the time I got there. I was getting my stuff together and in the trunk of my car when he pulled up.
He looked at me. "Leaving so soon, huh?"
I nodded. "Cristina asked me to come stay with her. So I'm taking her up on the offer. What else do I have going for me right?"
He nodded. "Go out to dinner with me tomorrow."
I laughed. "I'm sorry. What?"
He stepped closer to me and gave me that look. The one that he always uses. The one that made all the nurses hate him. The one that could probably melt ice. I hated him for that look.
"You heard me. Go out to dinner with me."
I sighed. I knew that I really shouldn't but something in me snapped and I gave in.
"Just dinner right?"
He smiled mischeviously. "We'll see where the night leads us."
I rolled my eyes. "Don't get your hopes up too high."
I opened my door and he turned around. "So I'll pick you up at eight tomorrow?"
I sighed throwing my hands up in the air. "Why not. Sure. Eight, wait make it nine just in case. And I get to choose the place."
He grinned. "I'll be looking forward to it."
"I'm sure you will."
I got into my car and drove away. There was a small part of me that wanted to admit that I would be too.
I immediatly kicked myself. Sloan? No way.
That was a one time thing.
Right?
So today was my first day as a "freshie" at RHS. It was pretty cool I guess, just kinda hectic. No one really talked to me, but thats okay. I hope that when the musicals and stuff start I can make friends with all the drama geeks. Thier the coolest yo.. lol. Seriouslly though im excited for the RHS musicals... Ive been wanting to be in one ever since Michele was in Damn Yankees. And now I actually go to Richwoods... Its kinda crazy that me and my friends are now in Highschool... I dont feel old enough to be in High school even though im a frosh, and at the same time I do. All summer Ive been telling people "im going into 9th grade" cause I hate to say Im gonna be a freshman, lol. Being at the bottom of the food chain rocks my socks. Everybodys really to consumed with thier own getting to class on time, they dont notice if youre a freshman or not. Which is good, considering they over dramatize it in the movies. Thier was definatly no seniors like shoving anyone into a locker or anything stupid like that. Im like 1 out of 4 freshman in my geometry class, its pretty funny. Its like all sophmores, like 5 juniors, and 3 seniors. Im like... ummm okay. It was kinda awkward cause we had to introduce ourselves and everything and I was all "Im a freshman...and um.. yeah" lol. I should find out when theyre doing "tryouts" for speech team. I really wanna be in it! Im excited. I wish Kendra went to RHS though :-(. *sigh*.
All my love,
Melissa
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Not that I hate anyone but Im making this journal strictly friends only just because I don't want to be stalked. Ha. So Comment to be added and I'll make sure it happens!
All my love,
Lissa
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